


I'll Keep You Safe

by olgushka



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Five Times, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Little Space, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 17:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9912581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olgushka/pseuds/olgushka
Summary: Five times Josh doesn't understand and one time he does.





	

1) The first time it happens, Josh is amused. 

He climbs onto the tour bus and notices Tyler who sits on the couch with his legs pressed against his chest, chin propped on his knees and stares at the tv. The sound is off but the singer looks at whatever happens on the screen like he's been hypnotyzed. He doesn't even blink.

Josh furrows his brows and comes closer, taking a look at the tv. Before he can stop himself, he lets out a loud snort and a giggle. _That's new_. Tyler doesn't seem to be bothered by Josh’s reaction. He keeps his eyes on the screen and smiles briefly when Tigger tackles Rabbit to the ground. His eyes are wide like two plates and his whole face radiates with happiness.

„ _Winnie the Pooh_ , Tyler? Seriously?” The drummer asks. „Hey, we need to get ready to-”

„Can I finish this episode? Please? Josh? Only this one?”

„Uhm... Sure?”

„Thank you!” Tyler grins and bounces excitedly up and down on the couch, focusing his eyes on the screen again.

Josh shakes his head and walks to his bunk, laughing silently. Tyler has never been the one to show interest in cartoons but the drummer doesn't question it. The weirdest things happen on tour and when he thinks about it, _this_ is not even that weird. 

When he enters the lounge thirty minutes later, Tyler is still there, sitting in the same position with his eyes glued to the tv.

„Thought you said _one_ episode?” Josh chuckles but Tyler turns around with scared, pleading eyes and the drummer stops in his tracks.

„I'm sorry!” Tyler whines. „I lost track of time. Please, don't be mad!”

Josh stands there with his mouth open. Tyler doesn't sound like a twenty-eight year old man. He sounds like he's five and just got caught by his parents watching tv when he wasn't supposed to. 

„What? I mean, the soundcheck starts in fifteen minutes, we're still good.” Josh says and sits on the other couch on the opposite site of the lounge, discreetly watching Tyler.

The younger man nods and smiles again when Tigger appears on the screen. 

„He's so silly!” Tyler laughs.

After a few more minutes of sitting there and wondering what he heck is going on, Josh's phone rings and when he picks up, Mark's voice announces that they're ready to start. Josh repeats the news to Tyler but the singer ignores him, so he stands up and snaps his fingers right in front of his face.

„Tyler.” He says loudly and Tyler blinks. He looks at Josh's fingers hovering right in front of his nose and then looks up at the drummer.

„What time is it?” He asks, and he sounds like the grown up Tyler again. 

„Ten minutes to eleven.” 

„Oh. We should go, the soundcheck is about to start.”

He looks at the tv and frowns like he's confused why cartoons are on, turns it off and gets up from the couch, leaving the bus and walking quickly to the back entrance of the arena. 

Josh has no idea what just happened.

 

2) The second time it happens, Josh is confused.

Tyler seems anxious since early morning and avoids everyone. Josh doesn't push him, he knows Tyler shuts off sometimes but he always finds his way to him when he needs some comfort.

They do an interview before lunch and he doesn't talk much, either staring blankly at the floor or chewing on the end of his hoodie sleeve. Josh handles most of the questions and Tyler speaks only if he really has to. He looks like he's ready to flee at any moment. 

When the interviewer starts asking about the pressure and expectations after the huge success of their last album, Tyler shivers. It's almost unnoticeable but Josh can feel it since they're sitting close to each other and their shoulders touch. He starts talking nonsense just to avoid the silence and looks over to Tyler who's now chewing on his thumb nail, still not paying attention to the interview. 

Josh talks some more and makes a few jokes but when he glances at Tyler again, his eyes widen. The singer has his whole thumb in his mouth and sucks on it like a toddler. His face is relaxed and Josh thinks he has already seen this expression somewhere before. The interviewer doesn't see it from her angle because the rest of Tyler's hand blocks the view but Josh can easily tell what's going on.

He says something quickly, trying to keep the interviewer eyes on himself but then he decides that it's enough, especially when a suspiciously loud sucking noise leaves Tyler's mouth. Josh clears his throat.

„Right, Tyler?” He says loudly and shoves his elbow against the singer's side, hitting him right in the ribs.

Tyler yelps and snaps out of his trance, looks at Josh who flicks his gaze from Tyler's eyes to the thumb in his mouth and the younger boy finally seems to get the hint. He slowly lowers his hand and Josh can swear that he sees him blush briefly when he discreetly wipes his finger against the material of his trousers. 

The interview continue and Tyler tries to be more active in answering the last few questions. 

But it doesn't end there. Josh catches Tyler sucking on his thumb a few more times that day and the singer seems to be unaware of his actions but every time he locks his eyes with Josh and sees him staring, he drops his hand and blushes furiously, turning the other way. With every hour passing, the sucking becomes more nervous and frantic. Twenty minutes before the show Tyler looks like he's ready to bite his finger off. Josh doesn't ask, he decides to leave it be. 

Right before they climb on the stage, he hugs Tyler tighter and longer than usually and kisses his temple. He looks him questioningly in the eyes and Tyler takes a deep breath, nods, squeezes Josh's hand and puts his mask on.

 

3) The third time it happens, Josh is pissed off. 

They’re on the road again, heading to another venue. Everyone expect Tyler sits in the lounge, either eating careal or playing Mario Kart. Suddenly, there's a loud crash coming from the bunk area.

„You alright there?” Josh shouts, not getting up from his spot.

„Y-yeah! I'm... fine!” Tyler yells.

„Are you sure? Do you need any help?” 

„NO!” The singer yells even louder and there's a slight panic in his voice. 

Josh shrugs and focuses on the Mario Kart battle between Mark and Brad. Tyler appears in the lounge a few minutes later, looking pale and scared and sits next to Josh on the couch, pushing his nose in the crook of his neck and snuggling against his side. Josh repeats the question, asking if everything is alright and Tyler nods furiously before changing the subject and taking Mark's place on the floor when Eshleman loses against Heaton.

It's a few hours later when Josh decides to lie down in his bunk and get some work done on his laptop. He reaches for his bag but the computer is not there. He frowns. He searches under the covers inside his bunk and in the back studio. Before he can ask the crew if anyone saw it, he peeks inside Tyler's bunk, he lifts the pillow and smiles, grabbing his property. The smile leaves his face as soon as he opens the lid of his computer with a great difficulty.

„Tyler!” 

Tyler jumps up and stumbles backwards when the door to the bunk area opens and a very furiously looking Josh steps into the lounge, holding his laptop. 

„Oh shit, dude, that's bad...” Mark says, looking at the shattered screen.

„Tyler.” Josh growls and breathes heavily through his nose. 

„It wasn't me!” Tyler whimpers and his back hits the wall.

„Did anyone else use my laptop today?” He asks and looks around but others just shake their heads. He stares at the singer again. „It is... It _was_ a brand new laptop, Tyler.” 

Tyler opens his mouth but he doesn't really know what to say. He squeezes his eyes shut and when he opens them, he looks like a terrified child again. Josh frowns but sets his lips into a thin line and points his finger to the door, burning holes in Tyler's head. The younger man drops his gaze to the floor and slowly shuffles inside. He sits on the edge of the middle bunk and bites his bottom lip. Josh throws the laptop on his bed and crosses his arms over his chest. 

„It wasn't me!” Tyler yells before Josh can say anything.

„Dude, stop lying.”

„I'm not lying.” Tyler says stubbornly.

„Why would it be in your bunk then? Hidden under the pillow?” Josh raises his eyebrow and Tyler lacks for words. „You took it and you broke it. We all heard the crash, Tyler.”

„It was an accident! I swear, it was! It was there on the edge of your mattress and I accidentally knocked it off when I was getting to my bed and-” Tyler starts rambling.

„Tyler, the laptop was in the bag.”

„It was not!”

Josh exhales and pinches the bridge of his nose. He shakes his head and looks up to see that Tyler's face is hidden behind his hands and his shoulders shake lightly. He sighs and steps closer, wrapping his arms around the singer, who rests his forehead against his chest and lets out a sob. 

„It was not.” He repeats.

„It was not.” Josh says. „Except it was. I don't understand why would you lie about this.”

Tyler doesn't say anything for a long while but then he takes a shattered breath and nuzzles his head against Josh's ribs.

„I was scared...” He says eventually. „...that you would hate me.”

„Because of a broken laptop? Tyler, I could buy another five tomorrow.”

„But you're still mad.” He sniffs.

„I'm... I'm not, okay? I shouldn't have yelled at you, I know you've been really stressed out lately. I had a few files with the new drum parts that I wanted to show you. It was the only copy. But it's okay, I think I remember most of the beats. I overreacted, okay? I'm sorry. It's just a laptop, it's replaceable. Like you said, it was an accident.”

„I'm sorry, Josh. I thought you wouldn't notice.” Tyler says and Josh realizes that he sounds like himself again. „I was gonna buy you a new one as soon as we get to the city. I'm sorry.” 

„It's okay, Tyler. You want to tell me now how did that happen anyway?”

„I wanted to watch... Uhm. Something. I couldn't find my laptop and my phone battery died and I couldn't find my charger and I was so frustrated at that point, so I thought I could watch it on your computer and I took it from the bag and it slipped from my hands and hit the floor and the screen was destroyed and it didn't want to turn on and I panicked.”

„What did you want to watch?” Josh asks to keep the conversation going so Tyler can calm down but the singer mumbles something under his breath. „Come again?”

„Nothing... Nothing. It doesn't matter.”

„Was it _Winnie the Pooh_?” The drummer teases.

Tyler blushes furiously and changes the subject. Josh fights the urge to make fun of him but Tyler is still tense so he ruffles his hair with his fingers instead.

 

4) The fourth time it happens, Josh is worried.

For the next whole week Tyler doesn't act like himself. He's jumpy and scared and he seems to panic every time someone asks him about their plans for the new album. Josh wants to high five them in the face. With a chair. Or a brick. _Leave him alone. The Blurryface era is not over, we're still touring, give us a fricking break_. Tyler doesn't hang out with anyone much and spends most of the bus rides in his bunk. 

When it's a hotel night, he runs to the room he shares with Josh and falls face down on the bed. He curls up in himself and that's how Josh finds him. He drops his bag to the floor and quietly closes the door. He comes closer and sits on the edge of the matress, taking a look at Tyler's face. His eyes are open and he stares at some unnoticeable for the drummer point on the wall. He has his thumb in his mouth again but Josh pretends he doesn't find it weird. 

„Tyler?” He asks and touches his leg but the singer shifts away, pushes his legs closer to his chest and tries to make himself look even smaller than before. „Will you talk to me? It's just us, no one else is here. You can talk to me.”

Tyler's thumb leaves his mouth with a loud pop.

„No.” He says sharply and buries his face in the pillow. „Go away.” 

Josh sighs but does as he's told. He doesn't want to push Tyler into anything so they don't talk to each other through the rest of the evening. Tyler doesn't even shower, he simply kicks off his jeans and gets under the covers in his boxers and hoodie. Josh looks at him with worried expression on his face but doesn't say a word. He turns off the lights and goes to sleep.

He wakes up in the middle of the night after his brain registers yelling coming from the other bed followed by a flood of whimpers and curses. He looks over his shoulder to see the silhouette of Tyler who tries to untangle himself from the bed sheets.

„Ty?” He asks and Tyler freezes. „Are you okay?”

„Yes. Please, go back to sleep.” He says and gets up from the bed. „Shit, shit, shit...” He whispers to himself but Josh hears it anyway. 

„Let me-”

„NO! Don't turn on the lights!” Tyler shouts in panic but it's too late. 

Josh clicks the button and the room fills with light. He looks at the scene before him: Tyler stands next to the bed with a blanket in his hands and a terrified expression on his face that flushes red the moment Josh lays his eyes on him. There's a large black wet spot on the front od his navy blue boxers briefs and the room starts to slowly fill with the specific smell. 

„Shut up.” Tyler grits through his teeth, glaring at him.

„I didn't say anything.”

„Shut up, shut up, shut up.” He throws the blanket on the bed and pulls on his hair instead, shaking visibly. He lets out a sob.

Josh immediately gets out of the bed and approaches the singer, putting his arms around him. Tyler flinches and trembles but when Josh starts hushing him, he calms down and pushes into the embrace. 

„It's okay. You're okay.” Josh says.

„It's not okay, it's not okay, how can you say it's okay, Josh, it's not-”

„It is.” Josh says firmly and puts his hands on Tyler's cheeks so he can look him in the eyes. „It's fine. Breathe. Was it a bad dream?” He asks. Tyler nods and hides his face in the crook of Josh's neck. „It's alright now. Look, I will get someone to clean this up. You go take a shower and put some fresh pyjamas on, okay?”

„Okay.” Tyler says quietly. „I'm sorry.” 

„You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Josh leads him to the bathroom. When he hears the water running, he leaves the room and searches for the hotel maid.

„Sorry. We had a little accident.” Josh says when he comes back with a nice woman who quickly starts getting her job done and changes the sheets and the mattress.

Tyler is nowhere to be seen but the lights in the bathroom are still on so he knows it's the only place where he could be hiding.

„Oh, that's fine. Happens all the time when there are kids involved.”

Josh frowns and opens his mouth to correct her and say that there are no kids in this room but then it hits him. _She has no idea_. He smiles at her and waits awkwardly, standing in the middle of the room.

When she leaves, he closes the door behind her and knocks on the door to the bathroom, assuring Tyler that he can go out. But Tyler doesn't leave and doesn't say anything either. Josh knocks again and then pushes the doorknob and surprisingly, the door opens. He peeks inside to find him sitting on the floor, looking at the tiles.

„Tyler.” Josh sighs. „Come on. You can go back to bed now.”

He takes Josh's hand and the drummer pulls him up to his feet. He shuffles to the bed without a word and gets under the covers hiding his whole body, including head. 

Josh lies down on his bed and turns off the light. He's not quick enough to get comfortable when there are quiet choking sounds coming from the other side of the room. Without thinking twice he gets up again and comes closer to the other bed and slides under the covers next to Tyler. He quickly puts his arms around the younger man and kisses the top of his head. 

It takes Tyler by the surprise and his breath hitches in his throat but then Josh pulls him closer and Tyler melts in the presence of the warm body. He can't stop himself anymore and starts crying, gripping Josh's t-shirt in his fists. 

„I'm sorry. I didn't want it. It was an accident.”

„I know, Tyler.” 

„Please, don't tell anyone. Please. They will laugh. Please, don't tell them.”

„I won't. I swear, I will not tell anyone.”

„I'm a walking embarrassment.”

„Don't say that. Happens to the best of us.” Josh says. „And you’ve been very anxious lately. It's probably one of the reasons.”

„Will you stay with me?”

„Of course, Ty.”

 

5) The fifth time it happens, Josh is annoyed.

Tyler acts like a pain in the ass since morning, getting on everyone's nerves. 

They finally stop for their lunch break in a small roadside restaurant and Josh is impressed with the fact that the food is actually fresh and tasty. They chat and laugh about different things but then someone kicks Josh in the shin under the table. He looks up to see Mark staring at him weirdly. Josh frowns but then Mark makes a tiny movement with his head towards Tyler and Josh turns his gaze to look at his friend.

Tyler sits next to him with a bored expression on his face and plays with his food, pushing it around the plate with his fork.

„What's wrong?” Josh asks. „I thought you were hungry.”

„What is this? I don't like this.” Tyler pouts.

„Are you kidding me? This is literally your favorite thing. You ordered it yourself.”

„Did not.” 

Everyone goes silent and they stare at the singer with raised eyebrows. Josh freezes with his fork lifted halfway to his mouth but then he lowers it down and takes a closer look at his friend. The familiar look of a scared child is there again but this time, the fear in his eyes is mixed with something else, something that tells Josh that this will not end well.

Tyler pushes the food around with more force now and some of it ends up on the table. 

„Stop it.” Josh hisses.

Tyler drops the fork and it lands on the plate with a loud clatter. He crosses his arms on his chest and people turn to look in their direction. The restaurant is almost empty, only a few tables are occupied and there are mostly truck drivers getting their break. Josh hopes that no one knows Twenty One Pilots.

„What is your problem, Tyler?” The drummer asks quietly. „If you don't like it, you can order something else.”

„No.” He mumbles. 

„Fine. Don't eat then. Stay hungry. We have still five hours of the ride left. Good luck with that.” Josh sighs, annoyed.

No one else says anything and everyone pretends that nothing happened. Josh continues his conversation with Brad and the atmosphere around the table goes back to normal. 

Tyler seems to be bothered by the lack of attention. He looks around the table and focuses his eyes on Josh's meal. The drummer notices his movements in the corner of his eye so he leans back, giving him access to his food, never stopping with the story he's telling. Tyler stabs Josh's meat with his fork and steals a piece of it, quickly shoving it into his mouth. 

He chews it slowly but then his face twists like he just ate a lemon, he spits the piece of meat out and thankfully, it lands on his own plate. 

„Tyler!” Josh shouts and people stare again. „What the hell is wrong with you today?” 

„This is bad! It's disgusting, I will not eat that!” Tyler shouts back and pushes his plate even further away, almost knocking other's meals to the floor in the process.

„Fine! But for God's sake, stop making a scene and get your shit together! You're not a child, Tyler! You're a twenty-eight year old man so maybe start acting your age!”

Tyler stands up abruptly and his chair scratches loudly against the floor. He sends Josh a long betrayed look and to make his exit more dramatic, he _accidentally_ knocks Josh's water over and the contents of the glass land on his t-shirt and jeans.

„Tyler!” Mark calls after him but the singer storms out of the restaurant.

Josh rubs his hands over his face and exhales loudly. No one knows what happened but everyone hopes that the story won't end up in any magazine. Josh can already imagine the title: _Tyler Joseph throws a tantrum in the middle of the restaurant!_

They clean up the mess, apologize and leave the waitress a large tip. When fifteen minutes later they get back to the bus, Tyler is not there. Josh puts some dry clothes on and they wait a little longer but when it's time to go and Tyler is nowhere to be seen, Josh is the first one to volunteer finding him. 

He doesn't need to go far, he crosses the parking lot and finds him sitting on the curb, crying his eyes out. Josh rolls his eyes.

„It's time to go.” He says.

Tyler jumps up at the sound of the drummer's voice and quickly turns around. He immediately pulls himself to his feet and throws himself at Josh and the force makes the older man stumble backwards.

„I got lost...” He mumbles against Josh's shoulder.

„What?” Josh frowns wrapping Tyler in a hug.

„I got lost!”

„How could you possibly get lost when the tour bus is literally just around the corner?”

„I was there, it wasn't there!” Tyler whines. „You weren't there! I thought you forgot about me!”

Josh pushes him back to arms length in order to get a good look at him. The tears are still streaming down Tyler's face and he takes a shattered breath every few seconds, hiccuping in the meantime. 

„Please, take me with you. I'm sorry. Don't leave me here. I'll be good. I'm sorry, I promise, I'll be good.”

„What the heck, Tyler.” Josh says, confused. „Tyler?”

But the singer glues himself to Josh's side and doesn't answer. He grips Josh's hand when the drummer leads them back to the tour bus and runs to his bunk as soon as they step inside. He doesn't go out until they reach their destination.

On the way to the dressing room, his stomach growls and Josh can only sigh. Tyler jogs to keep up with the drummer.

„We didn't have a lunch stop today, why?” 

Josh halts to stop and looks at Tyler with confused and terrified expression on his face.

\- - -

+1) Josh spends the whole night online, digging in the depths of the Internet. He googles every possible variation of _adult acting like a child_ , _emotional disorder_ and _adult childlike behavior_. He puts _i think my friend has gone bananas_ in the search bar at some point out of frustration but Google redirects him to a baking site and shows him a list of banana bread recipes.

He stumbles upon the site that describes the DD/lg dynamic, age play, Littles and their little space. He cringes but then digs deeper and finds the forum dedicated to age regression and non-sexual Littles. He hums under his breath, clicks on the links about borderline and dependent personality disorder, reads for hours, decides that he doesn't really know what to think about any of this and when his brain feels like exploding, he shuts his laptop and goes to sleep. He knows that some of these things match with Tyler's behavior but it's still a lot to take.

He watches Tyler closely for the next few weeks, taking mental notes about his behavior. Tyler lets his inner child shows mostly when he's stressed out or put under the pressure. The thumb sucking becomes a daily thing but since Tyler realizes that he's being spyed on, he tries to control his urges. Everyone's aware of Tyler's strange behavior but no one seems to have the courage to start the conversation.

„Can we talk about it?” Josh asks one day, sitting next to Tyler on the couch. The singer has his phone in his hand and scrolls through his Twitter mentions.

„About what?” Tyler mumbles, staring at the screen.

„Your recent tendency to regressing.”

Tyler looks up at him, shuts off his phone, throws it on the table with too much force and leaves without a word. Josh is tired of dancing around the subject so he follows Tyler to the bunks. He catches his wrist when he's about to climb into his bed. 

„I thought that at least you, _you_ of all people, wouldn't judge me.” Tyler hisses and frees his hand from Josh's grip.

„How am I even judging you right now?” Josh frowns. „I just want to talk. I want to understand.”

„There's nothing to understand.”

„Oh?” Josh gets annoyed. „Well then. I'm incredibly sorry, apparently I'm really dumb. I'm sorry I don't understand such _simple_ thing as to why my best friend regresses to a mental state of a three year old child whenever he feels like it, obsessively watches _Winnie the Pooh_ , sucks on his thumb and wets his bed everytime he has a bad dream.”

 _Shit_.

The words are out of his mouth before he can't stop them and he mentally slaps himself in the face. They stare at each other and none of them speaks for a long moment but then Tyler takes a deep shattered breath, turns around, pushes past Josh and runs to the door.

„Tyler! Wait! I didn't mean-”

„Fuck you!” Tyler screams and flees to the venue.

He doesn't talk to Josh until the showtime. Before they climb on the stage he gives Josh a quick sidehug and Josh knows it's only because the crew is watching them.

 

They have the next whole day off and Tyler avoids Josh as much as he can. Josh doesn't know how to approach him without getting punched in the face or being yelled at so he leaves it be and lets Tyler calm down a little bit.

Josh is an explorer so he doesn't miss the chance to wander around the city. When Mark suggest going out for a coffee, he's the first one to agree. After grabbing some food, they decide to go to the mall. They walk around the shops and buy themselves a few new items of clothing.

„Did you and Tyler have a fight?” Mark asks once they settle in Starbucks and order their coffees.

„I confronted him about something and let's say my prying wasn't appreciated.”

„It was about his childlike behavior, wasn't it?”

„Yeah.” The drummer sighs. „I acted like a dick, though. I assured him that I wouldn't judge him and the next thing I did was to snap at him and say things that sounded like _I was_ definitely judging him.”

„He will come around.”

„It's just... I want to understand.”

„Believe me, Josh. We all want to understand. He's not really subtle or private with his new... hobby.” Mark says. „I caught him before the soundcheck the other day. He was walking around the stage, looking like he saw the place for the first time. He had no idea what to do with his ukulele. He sat down on the floor and grinned at every random note he played. He saw me and shouted something like: _Look, it works! It's so cool!_ , like a child who just got their first toy guitar. I thought he was joking but then, someone dropped the microphone and he got scared at the sudden noise. He jumped up, looked around again, looked at the ukulele in his hands and started playing _The Judge_ like nothing ever happened. His face changed and he was Tyler Joseph again but he was confused, like he couldn't understand how he got on stage. He didn't seem to remember seeing me before, he greeted me like I just walked in and started talking to me like a grown up man.” He continues. „That was terrifying. The most fucked up thing I've ever seen. It's like his mind wanders through a completely different dimension, then he snaps out of it and can't remember anything.” He shakes his head. „I know that being a little is a thing but... I always thought that people only pretend to regress but he's like... it seems like he hypnotizes himself into that state of mind.”

„I tried to find out some things and the Internet says that he regresses because he's stressed out. I think he finds comfort in regressing.”

„Okay, fine. I mean, it would be fine if he was aware of his surroundings and actions. But when he... regresses, he's completely out of it. It's like he's not able to control it.”

„I know.” Josh nods and rubs his hands over his face.

„What if one day he walks out of the venue or just wanders away and gets lost and, I don't know, a car hits him because when he becomes a little he doesn't understand the definition of danger?”

„I really didn't need to imagine myself that.” Josh groans.

„But it's true! When he acts like that, he's like a three year old! He has no idea how the world works.” Mark says, sipping his coffee. „You need to talk to him.”

„Why me?”

„You're his best friend.”

„He's currently giving me a silent treatment. He's still pissed off. It's not gonna work.”

„Buy him something, as an apology. Something that will prove that you don't mind his... specific behavior.”

„Like what?” Josh frowns.

„I don't know. What do toddlers like?”

„Toys?”

„Yeah, for example. A plushie.”

Josh bites his lip and hums under his breath.

„If he punches me in the face, it's your fault.”

„Fine.” Mark says, gulping down the rest of his coffee. „Come on. I saw a kids store on the way here.”

They make their way back and enter the huge shop. They part ways and each of them goes to the different aisle to save the time.

„Text me if you find something interesting.” Josh says and enters the toy section.

 

Mark, 11:34am  
Do you think he needs a pacifier?

Josh, 11:36am  
There's a really disturbing image in my head right now.

Mark, 11:37am  
But pacifiers provide comfort!

Josh, 11:37am  
Please, stop.

 

Josh looks at the toys but nothing catches his attention. He doesn't know what Tyler would like but he feels like none of these toys would be satisfying enough. He passes the _Winnie The Pooh_ collection and stops abruptly. His eyes land on a Tigger plushie and something in his head tells him that this is exactly what he’s looking for. He grabs it from the shelf and makes his way through the store, looking for Mark. 

„Dude!” Mark says happily when he spots Josh. „This is the softest shit I've ever touched.”

„A blanket?”

„Yeah. You could give it to him. Like... Security blanket? You know, it’s a comfort object. I think you know the concept.” Mark says. „And it's like... a neutral, innocent thing. Nothing offensive, just a blanket. Something to provide a psychological comfort. I think he will get the message.”

„Mark, you're a genious!” Josh grins. „What colors do they have?”

„This one is quite nice.” Mark says, picking up a light blue blanket. „I think he would like it.”

„A blanket and a plushie. I think that's appropriate enough for the start.”

„Definitely. Are you sure he doesn't need a pacifier though?”

Josh smacks him in the head.

 

When they get back to the bus, Josh quickly scribbles a note.

_Tyler,_

_I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of what I said. I would never judge you for something like this. I was just a bit irritated because you wouldn't talk to me about it. I should have thought before I spoke._

_I'm always here if you need me, you know it. We can watch Winnie the Pooh and cuddle in my cramped bunk until you feel better no matter what hour of the day or night it is and I won't ask any questions if you don't want me to._

_I'm just worried, that's all. I don't want you to get yourself hurt. I hope you forgive me._

_These are for you. I hope you like them._

_Love ya, best fren._  
_J._

He leaves the package and the note on Tyler's bed and hopes that he won't screw up even more.

 

Tyler gets to the tour bus an hour later and heads straight to the bunks. He passes Josh in the lounge without a word, not even looking at him once. Even if he found the package, he doesn't let it show. With every passing hour Josh stops getting his hopes up and waiting for Tyler to throw himself in his arms and tell him that he's forgiven.

In the evening, he passes Mark on the hallway when they’re getting to their hotel rooms. He only shakes his head and Mark's shoulders drop.

Josh sets his alarm clock for six in the morning to get ready for the bus call and gets on the bed. He scrolls through his social media, favorites dozens of tweets and replies to a few emails. When he's about to shut his phone off and go to sleep, there's a faint knock on the door.

He expects to see Mark coming over with another _brilliant_ plan but when he opens the door he's met with a pair of brown eyes staring straight at him. Tyler swallows nervously and shifts awkwardly on his feet and Josh notices that he's holding something in his arms and pressing it close to his chest. It's the blue blanket and the Tigger plushie and Josh is convinced that Tyler came only to give it back. But Tyler takes a small step forward and Josh takes a step back to let the singer in. He looks around the room, fixes his eyes on the bed and without a word gets in and slips under the covers, lying on his side and facing the middle of the bed, leaving enough of room for the drummer to fit in.

Josh closes the door and without a word climbs back onto the bed. He lies on his back, picks up his phone again and finishes writing an email to Zildjian. When he finally puts the phone on the bedside table, he sighs and turns his head to look at the singer. Tyler watches him, still hugging his blanket and the plushie and Josh can't stand the tension anymore.

„Are you big or little right now?” He asks quietly and hopes it's a right question.

„Big.” Tyler replies.

„Okay.”

„Did you mean what you said in the note?”

„Of course I did.” Josh nods. „I'm really sorry for what I said earlier. I never meant to hurt you.”

„I know.”

„I'm just... really confused.”

„You have the right to be. I'm confused myself.” Tyler says and gets quiet for a while. A few minutes later, he speaks again. „Thank you for these.” He motions to the gifts. „I love them.”

"Really?” Josh smiles and Tyler nods. „I didn't know what to get you... that wouldn't make you angry.”

„They're perfect.”

Tyler shifts closer and Josh gets the hint so he stretches his arm. The younger man doesn't waste time and quickly presses himself to Josh's side, resting his head on the drummer's chest. Josh's fingers quickly find their way to Tyler's hair and the nape of his neck.

„I'm scared.” Tyler says suddenly. „Regressing is comforting but scary at the same time. It was funny and innocent at first but now- My mind goes blank and I don't have to worry about anything but I usually get too much into it and I lose control.” He sniffs and Josh pulls him closer. „I can't remember what I did and where I was and it leaves me scared. I promise myself to stop regressing but as soon as I feel triggered by something I slip into the little space again and the history repeats.”

„So you found yourself a stress coping mechanism that leaves you even more stressed?”

„I don't know how to stop.”

„Maybe you should start with coming to me when you feel down?”

„I don't want to be a burden. I've been a burden to you for so many years now, Josh. You have to deal with me every day and-”

Before he can finish, Josh pushes him off and props himself on his elbow looking down at the singer with an offended expression on his face.

„What the heck, Tyler.” He hisses. „How can you even say that?”

„But it's true!”

„You know what, if you're going to give me this kind of crap right now, you might as well go back to your room and continue not talking to me because not hearing your voice is ten thousand times better than listening to this bullshit.”

Josh turns around and crosses his arms over his chest. His back faces Tyler and the other man doesn't move an inch.

„Josh...”

„Am I a burden to you, Tyler?” Josh asks quietly, not turning around.

„Of course not, what-”

„Am I a burden when I'm upset and you're the first person I go and talk to?”

„No.”

„Am I a burden when I climb into your bunk in the middle of the night and get all clingy and weepy when everything is too much to handle?”

„Never, Josh...”

„So please, use your brain and reverse the roles now. And think for a minute.”

„Yeah, well, you probably feel obligated to-”

Everything happens in the blink of an eye. Josh turns around, Tyler lets out a short yell and lands on the floor. He sits up messaging his hip and looks at Josh who stares down at him from the edge of the bed.

„Obligated?” He repeats. „Obligated? Leave, Tyler. Get the hell out of this room.” He stands up, gets to the door and opens it. „Leave, get your head out of your ass and come back when you're _my_ Tyler again.”

They stare at each other for a long moment but then Tyler pulls himself to his feet and leaves the room. Josh slams the door behind him. He exhales loudly and turns on his heel ready to go back to bed when a loud knock on the door stops him from taking the first step. He rolls his eyes and opens it again.

„Hey, Jish.” Tyler says. „I want cuddles under my new blanket and a _Winnie the Pooh_ marathon and maybe we can eat some unhealthy snacks if you're up to it. Can I come in?”

„Will talking crap be involved?”

„No.” Tyler assures and presents his hand. „Pinky promise.”

Josh laughs and shakes his head. He joins their pinkies and pulls Tyler back inside the room. They make themselves comfortable and Tyler sits between Josh's open legs with his back pressed against his chest and the drummer's arms wrapped around his middle. They place the laptop in front of them on top of the covers and put _Winnie the Pooh_ on.

Tyler's arms are restless and he can't keep them still. He taps his finger against Josh's arm, lifts his hand to his mouth and puts it back down again, scratches his head, scratches his cheek, bites on his nail.

„You can do it, you know.” Josh murmurs. „I told you, I don't mind.”

„No.” Tyler shakes his head. „I'll slip again.”

„Well, I'm here to keep you safe, aren't I? Go ahead, enjoy your little space.”

„Josh, I need to- I need to stop. You can't always be near to keep me safe.” The singer sighs.

„What if I want to?” Josh says.

„You _want_ to?” Tyler frowns.

„Yeah. I mean, this is something that is supposed to comfort you, not stress you out even more. I could... control it for you, if you wanted. I could keep you safe and grounded so you won't feel confused or scared when you... snap out from your _trance_.”

„Josh...”

„You're important to me, okay? You're my best friend in the whole world and your well-being and your mental health is always something that I’ll put on the top of the list. If regressing is something that provides you comfort, I want you to enjoy it. If you get into it so much that you lose the sense of reality, someone needs to keep an eye on you. I'm more than willing to do that for you.” Josh says.

„What have I ever done to deserve you, Joshua Dun?” Tyler takes a shaky breath. „You really don't mind? And it doesn't weird you out?”

„No, Tyler. We still need to talk more about it and set some rules but for now, I promise, we're good.”

„Okay.” Tyler exhales. „Okay. Thank you.”

Still hesitant, he takes his thumb into his mouth. It doesn't take long before the tension leaves Tyler's body and his posture changes. It doesn't take long before Tyler falls asleep in the middle of the _Winnie the Pooh_ episode, curled against Josh's chest, wrapped in his safety blanket, keeping a solid grip on his Tigger plushie.

Josh smiles and kisses the top of his head.

„I'll keep you safe.”


End file.
